It's The Pants!

Yes, there was a missed kick. Yes, there were a couple of interceptions (underhanded Drew, really?). In fact, the hated rivals (I won't speak their name...ever) played an OK game. Indeed, by their lowly standard, they played the game of their life yesterday. But, friends, it was an unfair fight. We were not wearing proper uniforms. In fact, whenever we wear those *&%#ing-black leotard things, we take the field at a distinct disadvantage. It's as if we're playing the entire game waiting for our real uniform pants to finish drying.

This has gone on way too long. Do you realize the black pants debuted in the Ricky Williams era? He has since gone to Miami, smoked pot, moved to Canada, came back, quit football all together, only to come back again...and we're still wearing those same pants! Who can forget the sight of Aaron Brooks throwing his vaunted backwards pass (it would actually go backwards, and Deuce would have to run it down and fall on it) donning the no-stripe, black, stocking-pants?

And that brings up another point. All they have to do put a stinking stripe down the sides! I'm no fashion expert (though I am digging Project Runway again. Go Mondo! with your wacky wool tweeds and your gigantic head) but maybe gold would work. Yeah, maybe a gold stripe might be just what is needed. It would work great with the official team colors which happen to be BLACK and GOLD! Not to mention, our gold pants rock! We wore those gold pants through our entire playoff run and Super Bowl victory last season. We win with the gold ones. The black ones suck!.

It's time OK? Get rid of 'em, or put a stripe on 'em!